The poshest thing I ever made

Lobster ravioli with butter and caper sauce

I have been dreaming of fresh pasta ever since Michaela Chiappa's Simply Italian appeared on Channel 4. My sister and I made spinach and ricotta tortelli with sage butter. It was delicious. After pasta practice, I decided to make lobster ravioli for my foodie friends. Pasta, of course, is a bit posher when lobsters are involved.

Needless to say, this recipe is time consuming; I was still rolling pasta an hour and a half after the first guest arrived. Otherwise, all went smoothly - even the lone mission to glean the fishy meat from the lobsters using a large knife and a rolling pin. A low point came when I smashed my way into a fat claw, and grimy lobster juice sprayed liberally all over my face.

A high point, pictured above, was when I wangled this whole bit of soft lobster meat out of the claw. It reminded me of that episode of Spongebob Squarepants when Mr Krabs' shell comes off and all that's left is his soft, wobbly body. I have no shame admitting that comparison.

Above is the lobster meat, mixed with coriander, red chilli and some other things.

Above is me rolling the pasta! I am now a master of pasta.

Thus here is the final product. I made 25 ravioli with this recipe, and it was all very delicious and light. If I was to do it all over again, I would save a little butter to spoon over separately as a sauce, add a bit of chilli powder and salt the sauce a little more - not too much, otherwise all the trouble with the lobster will be for nothing.

Pistachio and sour cherry biscotti

With a desire to make something sweet to suit the recent burst of hot weather, I decided to venture into the world of Italian biscotti. The word biscotti, like biscuit, means twice cooked. This is an important part of the baking because the biscuit needs to dry out a lot to become very crunchy.

I took inspiration from this recipe and this other recipe to create my own little golden almondy slices.

Alors, here is my own recipe, with no mention of cups as measures and no confusing typos. There is definitely room to mess around with the ingredients. Swap pistachios for almonds or pecan nuts, use any fruit zest, ignore the vanilla essence and add more almond; any biscotti is good biscotti! I also used a few glacé cherries so I didn't have to buy two packets of the sour kind. The rolled oats are also totally optional and pretty untraditional.

250g plain flour
125g caster sugar
75g rolled oats
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 free-range eggs, beaten
225g (ish) unsalted and shelled peanuts, roughly chopped
225g (ish) dried sour cherries
2 tbsps olive oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
Zest of 1 lemon
Zest of 1 orange

Preheat oven to 180°C, line a baking tin with greaseproof paper. Whisk together the eggs, lemon and orange zest, vanilla and almond extract in a big bowl. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, sugar, oats, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add in the egg, cherries and nuts then mix again.

Transfer the dough onto a floured work surface and divide in half. Use plenty of flour on your hands to shape each half into logs roughly 12 inches long and 3 inches wide. Transfer the logs onto the baking trays. Bake for 25-30 minutes, until browned and set, turning halfway through. Remove the biscotti logs from the oven and let them cool. Reduce the oven temperature to 120°C.

Using a serrated knife, cut the biscotti logs diagonally, about a half inch wide. Arrange the biscotti back on the baking tray (it might be necessary to use two) and bake again for 30 minutes, turning over halfway through. Keep them in an airtight container and they will last a long time. Check that your grandparents have sturdy teeth before encouraging them to eat it too.  

I must share these sausage rolls with the world

I had thought homemade sausage rolls were brilliant already (let's not pretend Gregg's even qualify as food). But here before me I have a vastly diminished plate of sausage rolls, that are the most delicious, sweet and satsifying sausages that I have ever savoured, ever. Better than Mum's in fact. The only ingredients required are a few chopped apricots, honey, sage, good sausages and pastry. I didn't even feel guilty eating them after I visited the piglets in Tatton Park earlier today; they were too irresistible.

 Ingredients

1 pack ready-made puff pastry
6 sausages, unpeeled from their intestinal jackets
100g chopped dried apricots
2 tbsps honey
1 tbsp dried sage
A little milk for brushing

Preheat oven to 200°C. Roll out pastry and divide lengthways. Mix the sausagemeat, apricots, honey and sage in a bowl. Split the meat mix between the two lines of pastry.

Fold over the pastry and press tightly shut. Divide into about 8 mini sausage rolls per patch of pastry, or cut them bigger if desired. Brush the pastry with a little milk. Cook in the oven for 15 minutes, or until cooked through.

THEN RAVE ABOUT HOW AMAZING THEY ARE TO THE ENTIRE WORLD.

Review - Kosmos Taverna

Kosmos is a Greek restaurant in Fallowfield, nestled snugly between Mr Bubbles laundrette and Nino Milano hairdressers. Since first year I have been ogling at Kosmos, so last term I finally took advantage of their student offer - £8.50 for two courses and a glass of wine. 
 

Inside the restaurant, all sense of being in Fallowfield is lost. Opposite the entrance, a photo of the Greek President greets visitors, and on the walls also hang pleasing Mediterranean pictures. Faux-marble pillars and rustic table settings also contribute to the Greek aura. Indeed, the first words of my accompanying Cypriot diner were “this feels like home”. So, with the need for perceived authenticity satisfied, onto the food.  

By recommendation, I had Melintzanes for starters, which are aubergine slices in batter, served with a tzatziki dip. I love the rich, buttery flavour of aubergines anyway; with a light batter and proper homemade, garlicky tzatziki, they were perfect. Another fellow diner had Dolmathes, vine leaves stuffed with minced lamb, which were really delicious. For my main I had Afelia - pork casseroled in red wine and coriander seeds. I had it served with salad, which of course will never complement casserole, I ate it all anyway but I swear that combination shouldn’t be an option. Aside from that, the pork was beautifully tender, the kind of texture  that comes from hours of slow-cooking. The salad was fresh and simple. A friend had Kolokithi Kieftethes, courgette, feta cheese and herb fritters. I didn’t try these, but they do sound very interesting! Our table was full of satisfied students, and we even converted the Greek food novice.

My sole complaint is that the portions were pretty small. For £8.50 it’s hard to know whether or not this is fair – my questionable solution would be to bulk the meal out with mandatory rice portions. Or perhaps a better idea would be to take my parents and order à la carte. Aside from that, the service was quick and friendly, our Cypriot even spoke Greek with the owners. 

The restaurant also has a list of things to boast about, printed on the inside cover of the menus and on their website - Richard and Judy “have stated that this is one of their favourite restaurants”, and apparently, “AA Gill recently declared it the best Greek restaurant in the country!” Perhaps I can believe the first one, but as for the latter statement, I’ll just have to take their word for it.

Alex James makes dairy daringly

After reading many scathing articles on Alex James' new brand of cheeses for Asda, the snobbishness of the lofty food critics wailed true. Acclaimed food writers are judging the cheeses without even sniffing them first. Eat your words, Xanthe Clay, and a bit of the stuff you're writing about. Some are even writing nonsense to convince people they're not worth the money.

Admittedly, the idea of 'Tikka Masala' cheddar doesn't sound all that appealing, but as the man himself says, the nose on that cheese is just a bit of cumin - a bit like (the very respectable) Gouda. He hasn't exactly mashed a microwave ready-meal into mature cheddar. 'Cheddar with Pinch of Cumin' sounds a much duller name to me, anyway.

The cheeses are a hit, amongst most students at least. I can say this with confidence because I held a cheese party to canvass opinions. Comments ranged from “bland as a pair of M&S briefs” to “nom nom nom”. For me, the good old ‘Best Ever’ cheddar is perfection, it’s very strong and rich. The 'Tikka Masala' is pretty good too.

All nine cheeses in the brand are only £1.50 a pack, can’t argue with that, unless you lie about the relative prices per kilogram. There are ‘blankets’ to fit perfectly on a slice of toast, blocks of cheese and one innovation – ‘Spudsworth’, essentially a bag of cubes for melting in the microwave and pouring over a jacket potato (or straight into your mouth).  My next recipe idea is to make a chicken pie with the 'Spring Onion' cheddar.

I asked Alex James some questions when he came to visit our Student Union with free cheese for the malnourished amongst us.

Who is your cheese audience? Kids, students or are you aiming to convert the posh?

Alex: I was making really posh cheese but my kids didn’t like it. The Cheese and Tomato Ketchup cheddar idea came from one of Britain’s leading food critics who said ‘just bung a bit of ketchup in there’; it was his guilty pleasure. It’s a different thing from eating a cave aged gruyère or a Montgomery cheddar - I really love posh cheese but I really love everyday cheese as well. I tried the whole range on MasterChef judges and top chefs, I’m completely confident with how good it tastes. 

You say you like posh cheese and everyday cheese, are you calling Tikka Masala cheddar everyday cheese?

AJ: No that’s like punk rock. The distinctive nose in that cheese is actually cumin. It’s traditionally mixed with Gouda in Holland, so it isn’t actually that spooky. They are provocative names. It made The New York Times, Tikka Masala cheddar, but you can only get it in Asda in Britain, why are they talking about it?! 

How would you use your cheese in your cooking?

AJ: The Tikka Masala is more of a cheeseboard cheese. But cut the Sweet Chilli into cubes, microwave it in a little ramekin and dip soldiers in it like a fondue. The cheeses are designed to be convenient.

What cheese would you be if you could be a cheese?

AJ: The cheese that experts tend to rate the best is gruyère, but I disagree with them, cheddar really melts on your tongue. I’d definitely be cheddar, extra mature.